Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
