i wish starbucks made bloody marys
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
