It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
