Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
