I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
