Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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