Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
