No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
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Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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