Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
