I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
