Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
