her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
