he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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