Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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