We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Panties = found
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
