You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
