just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
