my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
