well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
