his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
