Girls should come with a carfax report
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
