My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
