gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
