Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize