oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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