we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
