A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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