There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
