Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
