The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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