Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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