Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
