You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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