I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just had sex on a roof
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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