Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
