so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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