it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
