I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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