did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
