You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize