Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
