a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
