i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
