North Korea, Best Korea!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize