"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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