we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize