Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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