not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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