Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
