Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize