you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
