I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
