Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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