Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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