I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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