Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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