hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
