I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
