right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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