like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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