Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
