4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
