i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
