All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
