his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
