how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize