so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
